Lisa's Revenge 2
by Bobthemasta
Summary: Lisa tries to get revenge on Leni again. Yeah, I'm so creative. Read Lisa's Revenge and Lincoln the President first.
1. Chapter 1: Revenge of the Sequel

Lisa's Revenge 2

Chapter 1: Revenge of the Sequel

Fucking god, I'm so fucking uncreative. Well, I'm sick of making serious plots

like in Lincoln the President, so you get this instead. Enjoy. Also, I'm going

to have a lot more sex scenes in this fic. You've been warned.

"Shit nigga! Not being the motherfucking president is fucking gay as all hell

and shit! I fucking hate being normal! Everybody hates me for no fucking

reason, I mean, making an entire race illegal isn't that bad! I was really

kind and generous to the American people, so suck on my dick! Fuck! Fuck!

Fuck! I want to fucking kill myself!" said Lincoln as he got a bottle of

Clorox bleach and was about to drink it. Then Leni came into the room. "Go

the fuck away, bitch. I'm fucking trying to kill myself." said Lincoln. "Oh,

so, I, like, need your advice on-" said Leni as she was interrupted by

Lincoln. "You make me so hard just looking at you." said Lincoln. "What

does that mean?" said Leni. "Oh, I'm feeling like getting you in the back."

said Lincoln. "The back? Like, what do you mean?" said Leni. "I'm fucking

talking about shoving my weiner inside of your butt!" said Lincoln. "I still

don't get it." said Leni. "I want to fuck you! I want to have sweet hot sex

with you, Leni! I want your pussy so fucking bad!" said Lincoln. "Uh, isn't

it illegal to do it with your sister?" said Leni. "Who gives a flying fuck? If it

feels good, why would you not want to?" said Lincoln. "I just don't know

if I want to do this." said Leni. "Oh, fucking please!" said Lincoln. He

dropped a comic book on the floor. "Can you get that for me?" said Lincoln.

As Leni leaned over to pick it up, Lincoln grabbed her ass and pulled her

panties down. "LINCOLN WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" said Leni. "Oh, I'm

gonna fuck you up good, bitch." said Lincoln. He unzipped his pants and

you can probably guess what happens next. In the shack in the backyard,

Lisa was thinking about more murder plots. "Not only does that whore

Leni destroy my time machine, she gets me grounded for life and beaten

every single fucking day with a fucking whip, and now I have to sleep on

this mound of dog shit every single fucking night! I fucking hate that bitch!"

said Lisa. She snuck back into the house and got a gun. Lisa went and

listened at Lincoln's door and heard moaning and somebody slapping

something. "Okay, so it's Leni who's making those noises. Oh, dear god!

She just said that something felt good, and she's now just screaming, and

it looks like she's being pleasured by something. Now she's saying that

there's some sticky stuff inside of her. Holy fucking shit! Damn fucking hell!

I can't fucking believe that Leni's such a fucking slut to have sex with her

brother! But what the fuck ever. I gotta take a piss." said Lisa. Lincoln and

Leni had sex for about five more hours. "Dear god, that was the most

fucking hot and lewd thing I've ever fucking done! I've fucking wasted all

my cum on you, I can't even get a boner anymore. Just get your clothes on

and hope not to get pregnant." said Lincoln. "I have to say, that was a lot

more fun than I would have ever thought it was going to be. Thanks Linky,

that really felt good!" said Leni as she left. "Dear god, this is going to be

some awesome footage! Pornhub is going to get me rich as fuck! I can't

fucking believe that Lincoln left his door open so I could film them fucking.

I can also use this against them! I got my idea! I don't have to kill Leni, I

just have to use this sex tape against her." said Lisa. She went and found

Leni. "Can we talk in the shed in the backyard? I need to talk with you."

said Lisa. "Like, WHAT!? LISA! YOU'RE GROUNDED FROM THE HOUSE

AND CAN'T LEAVE THE SHED! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?" said Leni.

"Just fucking come with me." said Lisa. In the shed, Lisa showed Leni the

porn video. "LISA! WHERE DID YOU GET THAT!? I mean, that isn't me!

That's the clone of me!" said Leni. "Cut the bullcrap, Leni fucking Loud. I

have this tape of you. If our dad catches you fucking Lincoln, your ass is

going to be beat harder than mine is. So, I have a list of things for you to

do. If you don't do these things for me, I'm going to show Mom and Dad

this video, and your ass is going to be fucked. Both literally and figuratively

of course." said Lisa. "WHAT!? Lincoln forced me to do it! He raped me!

If they know THAT, they can't blame me!" said Leni. "Cut the bull! Even if

Mom and Dad knew it was rape, they would never believe you. When they

get their hands on that tape, you're screwed." said Lisa. "Well, after what

you did to me, how can they trust YOU? They hold me on a higher level

than you already! Also, having sex with your brother is much less of a

problem than you trying to kill me!" said Leni. "It definitely wasn't rape,

since you had sex for five hours. You're bigger and probably stronger than

that wimpy cocksucking Lincoln, so why couldn't you just push him away?

The only explanation for this is that you wanted it all along and the two of

you had consentual sex." said Lisa. "No, Lincoln put his thing in my hole

when I leaned over to pick something up. It hurt at first but I got used to

it after we did it for a few minutes. I think he shot his fluids inside of me

about thirty times. But why is that so wrong? I love Lincoln and it shouldn't

be a problem for you if we can express our love in that way!" said Leni.

"It's not fucking love! Sex and love are two fucking different things! All he

did is fuck you up your cunt! He never said that he loved you! Also, it's not

just a problem with me that you're fucking your brother! It's actually fucking

illegal! I can call the cops on you for this! But if you obey me, I'll let this all

go and you can do whatever you want with Lincoln." said Lisa. "Fine. I'd

rather do whatever you want if I could still keep my relationship with Linky.

Do you, like, have a list or something?" said Leni. Lisa gave her a list. "The

first one is to clean the dog shit off the ground in my shack. I can't fucking

stand sleeping on the ground and having to constantly smell crap when I

could be dreaming about ruling the universe. The second one is to make

some porn videos of you twerking and licking some dildos you shoved in

your pussy. Some of my college homies need something to fap to. The third

one is to kill some Jew that lives across the street and shit. And that's just

the first three. There are about 100 other things I need you to do." said

Lisa. "I really don't want to do any of these things!" said Leni. "Well, that's

the fucking point. If you don't want your ass beat, go do this shit." said

Lisa. Leni got some Clorox bleach and poured a cup. Then she dumped it

on the shack ground to start cleaning the dog shit. "Well, I'm going to a

party. There's going to be some beer there, and some male strippers, and

drug dealers selling meth to high schoolers. So fucking bye, bitch. If you're

not done with cleaning the dog shit by the time I get back, I'm fucking

emailing that video to Dad." said Lisa. Leni started cleaning up. After a few

minutes, Leni started crying. "Why does this have to happen to me?" said

Leni. Lisa stole the van and drove it into their Jewish neighbor's house.

"Fuck the police, yo!" said Lisa before she took another snort of cocaine.

To Be Continued.  



	2. Chapter 2: Lisa Gets More Revenge

Chapter 2: Lisa Gets More Revenge

Man, I got so hard while writing this. Whatever, enjoy the chapter. Yeah,

Lincoln and Leni have more sex.

While Lisa was running over some pedestrians with the stolen van, Leni

got a genius idea. She would delete the video and then when Lisa figures

out that Leni didn't do the work, she would have no video to send. So Leni

deleted the video and went to Lincoln's room. "What you want? Are you in

the mood for some more hot sex? Because I can't. You see, I came so much

inside of you that I can't get hard anymore, so there's no point in fucking

anymore." said Lincoln. "Wait, so, are you, like, attracted to guys? I mean,

I'm not trying to be mean, but you've been acting like one of the girls

lately." said Leni. "Hell fucking no! I'm not fucking gay! I just can't fucking

get a boner. I'm trying to take Viagra but it's not fucking doing shit. Also, I

don't think it's for 11-year olds. But I don't fucking know, maybe we can

kiss for now." said Lincoln. Lincoln and Leni started kissing intensely. They

put their tongues inside of each others' mouths. Then it got sexual really

quickly. Lincoln tore off Leni's clothes and Leni tore off Lincoln's clothes.

They did almost all kinds of sex, besides anything using Lincoln's dick, since

he can't get hard. Though Lincoln still rubbed his dick on Leni's pussy to

give her some pleasure at least. They made out very sexually, spraying

spit all over their naked bodies. The door was open a small bit, allowing

Lisa to film them making out. "Dear fucking god! I can't fucking believe that

Leni would be so slutty as to fuck Lincoln twice now! In the same day! That

whore is also a fucking idiot! I fucking knew that that slut deleted that

video! But now I have another one!" said Lisa. After they were done

fucking, they put their clothes on. Leni went out of Lincoln's room. "What

the fuck were you fucking doing in there, whore? Why the fuck were you

not doing the work?" said Lisa. "Like, I had to, uhh... clean my room!" said

Leni. "Bull fucking shit! I fucking saw you! You thought I was gone so you

went and fucked Lincoln again. My god, what the fuck have you become?

This is the second time you've fucked Lincoln! In the same day! Grow the

fuck up! Is that all you value? Getting sexual pleasure from your brother?

That's fucking awful!" said Lisa. "So trying to kill me isn't? Doing it with

Lincoln is at least not going to hurt us. But you almost murdered me! Why

do you take something I do and warp it so you can get some kind of stupid

stuff against me!? WHY!? Please tell me why!" said Leni. "Uh... I don't

fucking know. But I still need you to make that sex video." said Lisa. "Fine,

I'll do the video." said Leni. Leni went into her bedroom. She took off her

clothes and set up a camera. Leni then took off her clothes on tape and

put a dildo inside her pussy. Leni started moaning and orgasming because

she's being penetrated. Then after about half an hour of that, Leni took it

out and licked it. She made a big deal of licking it and said it tasted good.

Then Leni stopped the video. She took the camera and downloaded the

file to her laptop. She emailed it to Lisa. "Fuck god damnit! That's fucking

hot as hell! For a so-called innocent girl, Leni's so fucking dirty! I wonder

why she moaned so loudly. Well, I gotta show Lincoln this, he'll jerk off for

hours." said Lisa. She emailed it to Lincoln. "That's so fucking hot!" said

Lincoln. His dick got hard again and he stroked it while watching the video.

Then Leni went into Lincoln's room. Lincoln pulled his pants up. "Lincoln,

why were your pants down?" said Leni. "Uh, I don't give a shit. Well, I'm

hard again. Want to fuck some more?" said Lincoln. "No thanks, I had to do

an adult video for Lisa and I had to lick some stuff that came out of my

thingy." said Leni. "Yeah, I saw that. I mean, who cares what you did? Let's

get sexy. I'm so hard right now." said Lincoln. "I don't want to do it." said

Leni. "Whatever." said Lincoln. He went back to watching Leni get sexy on

her bed. Leni left the room. "So what was that third thing? Oh yeah, right,

killing our neighbor." said Leni. She went and found a pistol. Leni went to

the Jewish neighbor's house and knocked. "Well, hello, young lady! It's

Jewish tradition to slap all girls before they enter the house. We're serving

fried pork, bacon, ham, and baked pig testicles for dinner. Since we're

Jewish, we're welcome anybody to dinner." said the Jewish neighbor. "I

really don't want to do this, but!" said Leni. She shot him in the head. "Oh

my heck! I just killed a guy! GAHHHHHHH! I'M SO FREAKING STUPID! WHY,

HE WAS SO YOUNG!" said Leni. She ran back home. "News flash! A man

reported to be Jewish has been seen dead at the front door of his house.

Police are still investigating the incident, but the obvious Judaism of the

man suggests a hate crime took place. I mean, he's wearing the Star of

David on his fucking shirt, he's gotta be fucking Jewish!" said the news guy.

"I see you killed the guy. Well, the next thing you gotta do is you need to

get me some weed. And by weed, I don't fucking mean garden weeds, I

mean the drug! Pot! Kush! Marijuana! 420! If you don't get your ass to the

drug store and get me some kush, your ass is fucked!" said Lisa. Leni went

to the weed store. "Are you 21?" said the guard. "Yeah." said Leni. "Okay,

well, welcome to Dan Kushe's weed store! We got the best kush in town

and smoke weed everyday, yo!" said the guard. Leni went in and bought

some weed. "Here you go, Lisa." said Leni as she handed the weed over.

Lisa smoked the weed. "Ayyyy yo! I'm stoned off my ass, bitch!" said Lisa.

"So, what's the next step?" said Leni. "The next step is to kill yourself."

said Lisa. Leni went to Lincoln for help. "OH JESUS! I wasn't fapping or

anything!" said Lincoln as he pulled up the covers. "I need your help! Lisa

asked me to kill myself! Is there a way I can fake it?" said Leni. "Well, I

require payment." said Lincoln. "Okay, how much?" said Leni. "I don't need

money, I need sex. All you have to do is fuck me and I'll help you." said

Lincoln. Lincoln and Leni had about an hour of sex before Lincoln finally told

Leni what to do. "I got you. I got a few dead bodies from some of the girls

I killed after raping them so the cops don't have any witnesses. Actually, I

think a few of these girls were fucked after I shot them. But whatever, all

that needs to be done is for me to disguise one of the dead girls as you

and put it in your room. I'll tell her you killed yourself, and that will be it.

The best part, if Lisa falls for it, you won't have to worry about that video

anymore since Lisa will think you're dead." said Lincoln. They went along

with the plan. "OH MY FUCKING GOD! LISA! LENI KILLED HERSELF! GET A

FUCKING DOCTOR OR SOMETHING!" said Lincoln. "Not to worry, Lincoln. I

told her to do it. But it was a fucking joke! I really DIDN'T tell Leni to kill

herself! She takes everything so fucking seriously! Well, whatever. Since

Leni's dead as shit, I can delete the porn videos of her." said Lisa as she

deleted the videos. When she left, Lincoln got Leni out of the closet. "YES

FINALLY! LISA'S FINALLY GOING TO LEAVE ME ALONE!" said Leni. After Leni

went back into her room, Lincoln got a phone call. He went back into his

room. "Is this Lincoln Loud?" said the phone guy. "Yes nigga! It's fucking

me, motherfucker!" said Lincoln. "Good. I'm Dan Kushe, leader of the KKK.

I've made billions of dollars off an international drug trafficking business.

A weed store, Dan Kushe's Weed Store, has named itself after me. I came

to you because of your expertise as president of America. The KKK needs

you as the bridge from us to the American people. Come over to 420 Weed

Nigga Street in your town." said Kushe.

To Be Continued. 


	3. Chapter 3: Lincoln Gets Rich

Chapter 3: Lincoln Gets Rich

Lincoln snuck out of the house and went to 420 Weed Nigga street. "Nice

to meet you, former President Loud." said Kushe. "What's up, mah nigga!?"

said Lincoln. "All you have to do is sign this paper." said Kushe. Lincoln

signed the paper. "Now, what you have to do is write a letter to president

Hitler. Make it try to convince him to legalize your laws." said Kushe. "I'm

fucking curious, how much does this job pay?" said Lincoln. "Since the KKK

is worth about $300,000,000,000,000, I'd say about a trillion per week. It's

a high paying job." said Kushe. After a week, Lincoln got a check for a

trillion dollars in the mail. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!"

said Lincoln. He bought tons and tons and TONS of shit. Lincoln traded his

boring ass orange shirt and jeans for a solid platinum threaded gold suit

with diamonds encrusted into the buttons and pants made of solid

diamond mixed with platinum and gold. Lincoln wore a vest underneath his

suit, also made with gold woven into the fabric. Underneath that, Lincoln

wore a T-shirt made of diamond and ruby. He dyed his hair with diamond

dye and replaced all his teeth with shiny diamond teeth. He wore shades

made of diamond. On his suit were sparkling diamond pins. He had them

almost completely covering the outside of his suit. And that was just his

clothes. His room was painted with diamond paint. He got a $100,000,000

bed with a built-in toilet. He got a solid gold 80-inch HD plasma TV with

solid diamond borders and gold on the back, costing $1,564,666,420. He

had an entire assortment of weapons made of gold, a ton made of

diamond, and a ton made of platinum. He hired a team of corrupt expensive

lawyers to defend him from any and all controversy and crimes. He hired a

team of highly trained supersoldiers. And by team, it's more like an army.

He had a secret underground bunker built underneath his house next to

house his weapons, soldiers, and his cash. Lincoln bought a solid diamond

car. By solid diamond, the entire car is made of diamond, including the

interior, except for the outside, which is made of solid platinum. Lincoln

went into his bed and watched HD porn on his TV. Then Lori walked into

his room. "Wow, I can't fucking belive you're spending all this money when

kids are starving to death in Africa. Why don't you fucking try to support

developing countries instead of wasting ludicrous amounts of cash on

shit that doesn't mean anything!" said Lori. "Why don't you get off my ass,

bitch!? Or I'll get my army and sic it on your ass!" said Lincoln. "Oh god!

I'm NOT going to do that!" said Lori as she backed off. "Who gives a shit

about Africa! Those niggers gotta deal with that shit! There's a reason why

they choose slavery, it's fucking because they don't have a life besides

working for my fellow whites. All this cash is MINE!" said Lincoln. In Lisa's

room, she was smoking pot. "Fucking finally! I get some time to myself

after that bitch Leni killed herself!" said Lisa. "Fuck the police comin'

straight from the underground!" said Lincoln as he moonwalked into Lisa's

room. "Damn! Where you got that cash from, yo!?" said Lisa. "Bitch, some

guy named Dan Kushe got me dis cash for killing some blacks." said Lincoln.

"Holy fucking shit! Can you give me some of dat cash?" said Lisa. "No, you

fucking whore! All this fucking cash is fucking mine, you motherfucking

whore!" said Lincoln. "Oh, fucking please! I need the cash!" said Lisa. "No,

you fucking bitch." said Lincoln as he moonwalked out. "LINCOLN! Where

did you get those clothes?" asked Rita when she saw Lincoln. "Bitch,

please, I got dat cash. I killed some blacks and got hired by the KKK." said

Lincoln. Rita called the cops on Lincoln. "So, you said this kid was part of

the KKK and got trillions of dollars from them? Bitch, please! I'm not fucking

falling for another fucking prank!" said the cop. "Officer, it's really true. He

admitted it to me." said Rita to the cop. "Kid, is your family rich?" said the

cop. "Yes, my retarded mom gave me all the cash and I used it to buy this

sexy outfit." said Lincoln. "Well, can you remove your bangin' shades? I

need to know who you are." said the cop. "Hell fucking no!" said Lincoln.

"Fine, just don't call me again, lady. Officer Cox, out." said the cop as he

moonwalked out of the house. "LINCOLN! Help me test out one of my new

inventions!" said Lisa. Lincoln went to Lisa's room. "Step into this machine

and it'll split you into a heterosexual self and a homosexual self." said Lisa.

"I don't fucking know what those mean, so whatever." said Lincoln as he

stepped into the machine. The machine split Lincoln into Lincoln and Gay

Lincoln. When it was done, the Lincolns stepped out. "Like, OMG! This shirt

totes doesn't fit my jeans." said Gay Lincoln. He went downstairs. "What

the fuck is that fag doing in this house? And why does he look like me?"

said Lincoln. "The machine split you into a gay self and your normal self."

said Lisa. "So there's a faggot going around calling himself Lincoln?" said

Lincoln. "Yes, that's what the machine does, fag." said Lisa. Downstairs,

Gay Lincoln was getting his nails painted by Lola and put on some lipstick

while getting his hair dyed pink and wearing a pink dress. "Dang, I never

fucking knew you had a feminine side, Linky." said Lola. Gay Lincoln turned

on the TV to My Little Pony. "Wow! Just fucking wow. I knew you had some

doubts about your sexuality, Lincoln." said Lori who came downstairs. Then

Leni came in with her phone. "LOL! Like, we should totes take a selfie!"

said Gay Lincoln. He took a selfie with Leni, Lori, and Lola. "OMG! That's so

wrong! She's, like, kissing Justin when Jake is dating her ex-boyfriend since

he's, like, gay! Also, that dress is TOTES tacky! Pink and brown do NOT go

together! No, Stacy, don't! He's got some kind of wart on, like, his dick!"

said Gay Lincoln who was watching a soap opera with Leni, Lori, and Lola.

Then Lynn Sr. came downstairs. "LINCOLN ADOLF LOUD! HOW FUCKING

DARE YOU ACT LIKE A FUCKING FAGGOT!? You're a fucking fag! Why don't

you go and suck a guy's dick and get dicks in your ass cause you're gay!?

Fucking fag! No son of mine is gonna be a faggot!" said Lynn Sr. as he

reached for his whip. "DAD NO! That's not fucking me! Lisa split me into a

gay self and a straight self. That's the gay Lincoln." said Lincoln. Lynn Sr.

went and whipped Gay Lincoln. "Like OMG! This is totes wrong as hell! I'm

going to, like, post a complaint on Facebook cause I, like, do that!" said Gay

Lincoln. He ran upstairs and cried like a baby in Lincoln's room. "Shit, nigga!

That fag is in my fucking bed! Get out of my fucking bed, you fucking faggot!

Or I'll go over there and beat your gay ass!" said Lincoln to Gay Lincoln.

"Like, what is WRONG with you!? That is no way to treat a lady!" said Gay

Lincoln. Lincoln summoned his officers to his room. "Like, I am so totes out

of here!" said Gay Lincoln as he jumped out the window. "Fuck nugget!

That fucking fag is going to eat my fucking ass!" said Lincoln. Then he got a

phone call. "Loud, I've seen you run outside and cry like a baby. You were

wearing a pink dress, had your nails painted, had your hair dyed, and had

lipstick on. The KKK officers are going over to your house and are going to

kill you since being gay is against the rules of the KKK." said Kushe. "FUCK

ASS NIGGER JEW!" said Lincoln. "There are some white-hooded guys at our

front door." said Lori. "White-hooded dudes? That's fucking racist!" said

Luna. "Dude, did you get the wood for the cross?" said one of the KKK guys

to the other. "Nigga, I forgot!" said the other guy. He went to Home Depot

and got some wood for the cross. They set up a cross and burned it. "Heil

Hitler." said the KKK guy. "Oh shit, we gotta tell Mom and Dad!" said Lori.

To Be Continued. 


	4. Chapter 4: The Four Lincolns

Chapter 4: The Four Lincolns

"Mom! Dad! There are literally some white hooded guys at the front door!

They burned a cross and said some racist shit!" said Lori. "FUCK! I lost my

boner! God, why do the ads on these porn videos gotta be so fucking ugly?

Jesus fucking Christ! Nigga! I gotta smoke some weed, yo." said Lynn Sr.

who was watching porn. "We'll take care of it. I'm pretty sure the dance

club at my old high school wore white hoods. I can't believe the school

decided to fund something so stupid as dancing." said Rita. "No, they also

wore white suits! They're the chicken clan or whatever! The Clucking Clan?

The Cuckoo Clucking Clan, I think it was." said Lori. "The KKK? Those are

mah niggas! Don't give a fuck, I got this shit." said Lynn Sr. to Lori. He went

downstairs and to the door. "Mah nigga Lynn! How you doin', mah nigga?"

said the KKK guy. "Why are you niggas at my house, bitches?" said Lynn Sr.

"Nigga, we came to kill a guy called Lincoln Loud. He's gay." said the KKK

guy. "Oh, you must have the wrong fucking address! That Lincoln kid is in

the house across the street." said Lynn Sr. "Okay, we'll go and bomb that

faggot." said the KKK guy as the KKK guys went across the street. "That

was a fucking close one!" said Lynn Sr. as he closed the door. The KKK guys

bombed the house across the street. Meanwhile, Lisa called Lincoln to her

room. "What you want, bitch?" said Lincoln. "I'm going to split you into a

self where... Uh, where... you're your normal self and there's a self where

you're a certain religion." said Lisa. "Sounds good, I'll do it." said Lincoln.

When the machine was done, the Lincolns stepped out. "Oh jeesh, that

wash making me dizzy! I goota gat downshtairs!" said Jewish Lincoln.

"Wait, this one's a Jew? FUCK! Now there's a Jew calling himself Lincoln!"

said Lincoln. Then Gay Lincoln knocked on the door. "Like, can any of you

guys open the door? That would, like, be TOTES amaze!" said Gay Lincoln.

Jewish Lincoln opened the door. "Come en! It'sh cushtomery fo' Jewish

religion to open da doar fo' fella minoritiesh." said Jewish Lincoln. "Like, you

are so totes cute! Wanna have sex with me, babe?" said Gay Lincoln. "I'm

shorry, it'sh againsht ma religion to have sechsh with anotha man." said

Jewish Lincoln. "OH, LIKE, MY HOLY JESUS! I gotta totes change my, like,

gender!" said Gay Lincoln. He went to Lincoln since he was rich. "Like, can

I have some money to, like, have a sex change operation? That would be

TOTES amaze!" said Gay Lincoln. "Fine, fucking take the motherfucking cash

and be a fucking girl. I'm fucking tired of being around a fag." said Lincoln.

Gay Lincoln went to the hospital to undergo operation. Meanwhile, Jewish

Lincoln was cooking up dinner. It was made of bacon, ham, pork, pig's feet,

sliced ham, and pig nuts. He already prepared plates for Lincoln, all his

sisters, his parents, himself, and Gay Lincoln, as well as meals for the pets.

"Wow, you're a natural cook! You should try giving me some tips." said Rita.

"It'sh no problam. Ush in the Jewish religion ah ushed to makin' food." said

Jewish Lincoln. Then Gay Lincoln came back. "OH SWEET JESUS! Gimme dat

booty, bitch!" said Lincoln. Gay Lincoln got a sex change. She got the whole

package, including changing her hormones to fit a girl. "Like, my name's

Linda now. Thanks for noticing my, like, rockin' bod." said Linda. Lincoln

went up to his room to fap. "God, he's so fucking hot! Wait, Linda's still a

fucking guy! I can't fuck a guy! That's fucking gay! But his new gender is

so fucking sexy! God, I gotta think about this." said Lincoln. Then Jewish

Lincoln came into the room. "Brother, I'd like to talk to ya. I'm needin' cash.

Ya knaw, shince I'm Jewish, I need dat cash, ya." said Jewish Lincoln. "Get

off my ass, you fucking Jew! And get that Star of David off your fucking shirt

or I'll go all nigger-style on your ass!" said Lincoln. Then Lisa called Lincoln

over again. "Lincoln, this new machine will split you into Caucasian and

African-American sides." said Lisa. "Fine, whatever." said Lincoln. After the

machine did its shit, the Lincolns stepped out. "For real, nigga!? Bitch, I

gotta get some of dat KFC! Fo' shizzle, yo!" said Black Lincoln. "What the

actual fuck! Now there's a nigger calling himself Lincoln! That's fucking it, no

more copying me, bitch!" said Lincoln. "Like, do you, like, want to totes

have sex? Your black cock would totes fill my new pussy with cum." said

Linda. "Bitch, please. I gotta get dat KFC, nigga! But if it's what white girls

want, I gotta get, hoe. Smoke weed everyday, yo!" said Black Lincoln. They

went into the basement and had sex. "LINCOLN! It'sh time to have suppa!

Come and eat mah bakin'!" said Jewish Lincoln. The Louds ate dinner. "Holy

shit, that Jew's cooking sucked ass." said Lynn Sr. to Lincoln after dinner.

"Yeah, you can't trust a Jew, after all." said Lincoln. Then Linda and Black

and Jewish Lincoln came into the room. "Wait, why is there a bitch, a Jew,

and a nigger in my house?" said Lynn Sr. "Well, Lisa split me into a nigger

Lincoln, a Jewish Lincoln, and a gay Lincoln who got a sex change surgery

since he didn't like being gay." said Lincoln. "So, I have to pay for these

fags on TOP of you guys! FUCK! I'm already dodging the government by

not paying for you guys and now I have MORE to deal with!" said Lynn Sr.

"Wait, wait! All you have to do is not pay for them! Just keep them hidden

from the government and they'll never know!" said Lincoln. "Good idea! I

guess we need to fucking name them. Well, what should the nigger be?"

said Lynn Sr. "It should sound black. How about Lebron James?" said

Lincoln. "No, it has to be something gay. How about Tyrese?" said Lynn Sr.

"Good, and the last name is Lebrontae. That sounds black enough." said

Lincoln. "For the Jew, maybe David, cause of the Star of David." said

Lynn Sr. "No, let's make it ironic! Name him Adolf Hitler Loud." said Lincoln.

"Yeah, sounds good! And the bitch is Linda Loud." said Lynn Sr. "So it's

Linda Cocksucker Loud, Tyrese Lebrontae Loud, and Adolf Hitler Loud." said

Lincoln. "Nigga, dat name sucks ass, nigga!" said Tyrese. "Pleashe, it's sho

rashist! Me and Hitla have nothin' in comman!" said Adolf. "Like, my name

is totes inappropriate!" said Linda. "Well, if you don't get used to your

fucking names, Imma go over there and whip your asses!" said Lynn Sr. The

kids obeyed. "Nigga, I'm gonna steal the van and drive it to KFC, homie!"

said Tyrese. When Tyrese left, Linda and Adolf made out on the floor. "Like,

your dick is totes small!" said Linda. They had amateur sex on the ground.

Meanwhile, Tyrese stole the van and drove it into KFC. "Can I have da Black

Combo Speshu? And, da watermelin speshu. Yeah, da watermelin speshu."

said Tyrese. "I don't fucking understand you! Also, we don't have a fucking

watermelon special, you fucking nigger! Get the fuck out of KFC!" said the

cashier. "What you just fucking say? Only we say dat word, nigga! Imma

beat your white ass!" said Tyrese. The cashier called the cops. "Freeze! Oh,

there's a black guy here. Freeze, nigger!" said the cop. He dragged Tyrese

out of KFC. Then Tyrese jumped out of the handcuffs and ran off. "Get back

here, you fucking nigger!" said the cop. He tried to shoot Tyrese. "I can't

believe you whites dunno how da treat a black man! Black lives matter!"

said Tyrese. He got back in the stolen van and drove off. "News flash! A

black guy at KFC assaulted the cashier. The cops are still looking for him.

Apparently, his name is Tyrese Lebrontae Loud. Wow, that sounds so

ghetto. But anyway, call 420-666-7777 if you find a black guy with this

name. That's all." said the news guy. "Like, OMG! Ty! You totes are screwed

up the ass!" said Linda. Tyrese slapped Linda. "A white woman doesn't

have authority to talk back to a black man! Black lives matter!" said Tyrese.

"Pleash, the pershon I'm named afta killed sicksh millin of my peepa." said

Adolf. Then Lincoln came in with a pistol. "Which one of you niggers wants

to die today?" said Lincoln. They all screamed and ran off. "Damn, yo! I'm

just fucking kidding!" said Lincoln. Then someone knocked at the door.

"Who is it?" said Lincoln. "It's Officer Cox. We've found the assaulter at the

KFC. He's in this house! IS THERE A TYRESE HERE?" said Cox. "Yes nigga!"

said Tyrese. Right after he said that, a horde of cops stormed into the

house. "Waste that nigger and leave nothing behind!" said Cox.

To Be Continued. 


	5. Chapter 5: Lisa Goes to Preschool

Chapter 5: Lisa Goes to Preschool

After the police came in, the Louds locked Tyrese in the closet. "Cop dudes,

I said 'Yes nigga!' I was just dicking with you fags." said Lincoln. "Okay,

we'll trust a white dude. Cops out!" said Cox as the cops left the house.

"That was a fucking close one, nigga! Fo' shizzle, yo!" said Tyrese who

came out of the closet. "LOL GAY! Cause, you know, he came out of the

closet! Oh my god that is gay as hell!" said Lincoln. "You know, your room

is a closet." said Lisa. She went upstairs. While walking to her room, Lisa

overheard her parents talking. "Being in a college environment isn't good

for Lisa. I think that her behavior can be explained by the fact she's four

years old. The fact she's at college means she had little contact with other

people of different races and religions. We should sign Lisa up for

preschool. Hello! I'm talking to you! Cut the bull, I know you're watching

porn." said Rita. "Oh, can you say that shit all again? I was watching a

movie." said Lynn Sr. "No, you were watching porn. I'll explain it all again."

said Rita. She explained it all again. "Whatever. I don't give a fucking shit

about Lisa anyway. She's not even your kid! I cheated on you with some

slut on the street! I lied about finding an orphan on the side of the road!

I think I impregnated her or something." said Lynn Sr. to Rita. "Is Lincoln

the only one of our 11 kids you care about?" said Rita. "No, we only have

five kids. I think Lucy is adopted. Lily isn't ours, she's Lori's. I'm not gonna

explain. Then I stole the twins from some rich guy so I can get their money

when the rich guy dies and the twins inherit the money. Luna was just

some drug addict teen I found on the street and I adopted her so I could

piggyback off her potential rock fame and get rich. And you know about

Lisa." said Lynn Sr. "Holy fucking shit, I'm adopted? Ah, whatever." said

Lisa. "You fucking sick scumbag! You told me you adopted them! Whatever.

We need to sign some paperwork to let Lisa into preschool." said Rita.

They filled out paperwork. "FUCK! I can't fucking believe I'm going to

fucking preschool! The fucking kids there are retards!" said Lisa. Lisa ran

off to her room. Lisa grabbed a knife from the drawer and slit her wrist.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT LISA!" said Rita who was in Lisa's room about to tell

her the news about preschool. Blood was all over the floor, dripping from

Lisa's arm. Rita called 911. In the hospital, Rita and Lynn Sr. were talking

to Lisa. "Look, you're just going to preschool. It won't be that bad." said

Rita. "No, it's going to be fucking awful! All the other 4-year olds are fucking

retards! Also, the fucking school is trying to be hip and edgy by having kids

of all races and religions invited! Fuck niggers!" said Lisa. Then Lynn Sr.

snuck out of the room. "Don't give me that attitude, young lady!" said Rita.

"I need my daddy! Wahhhh!" said Lisa. Then Lynn Sr. came back with

some wads of cash. "Where did you get the cash from?" said Rita. "The guy

in the next room just died, so I took the opportunity to steal his cash." said

Lynn Sr. "Lisa's complaining about how she has to go to preschool. Just

please tell her to go or you'll beat her." said Rita. "Lisa, preschool is for

retards. I don't fucking know why you're going, but you need to tell all the

kids that they're gay. You also have to flip off all the kids." said Lynn Sr.

They went back home. On the next day, Lisa was at preschool. "Welcome!

I see we have a new student. Tell us your name, please!" said the teacher.

"It's Lisa. Lisa Loud." said Lisa. "Alright! Can you all say Lee-sa? Lee-sa."

said the teacher. The kids didn't even get it close. "Well, tell us a little

about yourself, Lisa." said the teacher. "Well, I'm 4, I'm single and straight.

I drink and do drugs a lot. I also hate pretty much every skin color and race

you can think of. I hate my sister and tried to kill her, my dad beats me for

everything I do, and other crap." said Lisa. "Uh, okay. Well, take a seat."

said the teacher. Lisa was sat in the table with the gay kid, the black kid,

the Jewish kid, and the autistic kid. "FUCK! I can't fucking believe that I

have to fucking sit with these fags!" said Lisa. She flipped off the kids at

her table. "Hey, wanna eat my booger? It's warm and squishy." said the

autistic kid as he ate his hairy booger. "Dear fucking god! That's fucking

disgusting!" said Lisa. Then the Jewish kid stole some snacks from the gay

kid. "I have no snacks!" said the black kid. "It's because you're fucking

black! You have no fucking money to afford a house, so how would your

family think getting snacks, considered a luxury to homeless people, is a

good thing? It's like your parents are retards. Wait, what was I expecting?

Of course your parents are retards, you're fucking black! Fuck niggers!"

said Lisa. The black kid started crying. When he started, the others started

crying. "Lisa! That was rude!" said the teacher. "As for you, bitch, you can

go suck a cock because you're probably cheating on your husband right

now." said Lisa. "Lisa! Go sit in the corner!" said the teacher. "Fuck no."

said Lisa. "Fine, whatever. Let's just go do Career Day." said the teacher.

The class stopped crying and started cheering. "Basically, we tell the class

what we want to be when we grow up and why. Who wants to go first?"

said the teacher. Lisa raised her hand. "Well, Lisa, come up." said the

teacher. "Well, I want to be a concentration camp manager when I grow

up. I want to flick the switch that activates the poison gas and watch the

Jews fall one by one. I want to see the charred black remains of the burn

victims of World War II. Killing all the Jews is my overall goal, so if anything,

that'll help further my goal." said Lisa. "Lisa! That was offensive!" said the

teacher. "Fuck you, you cocksucking bitch fag!" said Lisa as she sat down

in her seat. The next activity was counting the alphabet. "The first letter

is A. Can you say A?" said the teacher. "Ah, uh... Eh! Zuh! Ayy!" said the

black kid. "What is this, some kind of concentration camp or something?"

said Lisa. She got up out of her seat and escaped out of the window. She

came back half an hour later with some weed. "Lisa! Illegal substances are

forbidden on school grounds! Your parents will be notified about this." said

the teacher. "Smoke weed everyday." said Lisa. "The police will also be

notified. This could get you years in juvenile detention." said the teacher.

Lisa pulled out a gun and shot the teacher in the head. "I ain't going to

juvie when I'm motherfucking four years old!" said Lisa. Then she shot the

black kid in the head, followed by the Jewish kid, the gay kid, and the

autistic kid. The kids ran screaming out of the classroom. Then the cops

came to the preschool. "It could be that Tyrone nigger. I mean, he's crazy

enough to rob a KFC, so shooting up a preschool isn't that far off. We never

found him. I mean, when a nigger is on the loose, he'd go as crazy as he

wants. It's a lesson in life. Niggers are just as much of a human as apes

are. They only have five goals. Get laid, kill people, smoke pot, work on the

plantation, and get a house. Niggers, at their core, are just like wild apes

hunting for blood." said Cox to the other cop. They raided the preschool

and found Lisa. "Come on, little girl. We'll find your parents." said Cox. "Get

your gay ass away from me, Jew!" said Lisa as she ran away to her house.

The cops got sidetracked by a nearby strip club. "Oh my god, oh my god!

Oh my motherfucking god!" said Lisa in her room. "Lisa, what the fuck are

you doing, bitch?" said Lincoln. "I killed some retards at my preschool and

shit. The cops chased me and I got away. Fucking niggers! If that teacher

wasn't such a fucking bitch, I wouldn't have to fucking shoot those kids!

Now the cops have me on file as a criminal! FUCK!" said Lisa. "Bitch, I know

what you mean. One time I robbed a nigga at da market and he was like

'Bitch nigga! Get your fuckin' black ass away from mah shit!' and I was like

'Nigga I got no time for dat!' and he was like 'Nigga, Imma wreck yo shit,

yo fucking black piece of fuckin' shit!' and he kicked me in da nuts and I

called da cops but they chased me sayin' 'Get yo nigger ass back here!' an'

I was runnin' for my life!" said Tyrese. "SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU FUCKING

NIGGER!" said Lisa. Lincoln and Tyrese walked out. Then Leni walked by

Lisa's room. "Like, what's wrong, Lisa?" said Leni. "Nothing, Leni." said

Lisa as Leni walked past her. "Wait, WHAT!? LENI IS ALIVE!?" said Lisa.

To Be Continued. 


	6. Chapter 6: The Truth Revealed

Chapter 6: The Truth Revealed

I know the title's cliched, but whatever. I guess the truth is that Leni is

still alive.

"FUCK ASS NIGGER SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK NIGGER NIGGERFAGGOT! I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE

LENI'S STILL FUCKING ALIVE! Fuck that white bitch! That hoe can go suck

some old guy's dick because she's gonna fucking eat my fucking shit!" said

Lisa. Lisa grabbed a gun from her pocket and looked into Lincoln's room to

see if she was there. She was. "Leni, I need to ask a favor of you. I guess

you can say I've gotten a little too excited and I need to let my load out."

said Lincoln. "Like, what does that mean?" said Leni. "Okay, my dick is hard

and I need you to fuck me so I can let my cum out." said Lincoln. "Sure, I'm

ready! Let's go." said Leni. They had sex. "Oh god! I'm going to cum! Ohh!

Ohhhhh! Ohhhhhhh!" said Lincoln as he came inside Leni. "Seriously,

Leni needs to stop fucking Lincoln. This is the third time I caught them

having sex. Fuck it! I'll film a video of this and send it to Dad." said Lisa.

Leni and Lincoln had sex for about 15 more minutes. Lisa filmed it all. Then

she found Lynn Sr. "Dad, I have this video. You should check it out." said

Lisa. "Wait, I gotta clear my search history first." said Lynn Sr. as he cleared

his search history. Then Lisa showed the video. After it was done playing,

Lynn Sr. zipped up his pants. "Were you fapping to that shit? Jesus fucking

Christ, you're a motherfucking pervert! Well, I need you to go and punish

Leni." said Lisa. "LENI! GET THE FUCK OVER HERE!" said Lynn Sr. "What?"

said Leni. "Lisa showed me a video of you having sex with Lincoln. What's

the meaning of this?" said Lynn Sr. "You see, me and Lincoln love each

other. Lincoln wanted to put himself inside of me so we could show how

much love we hold for each other in our hearts." said Leni. "What a fucking

shitty excuse. So, what's the punishment? Whipping? Grounding for life?

Shot in the head? Rape?" said Lisa. "Well, I need to see Lincoln's side of

the story. LINCOLN! GET OVER HERE!" said Lynn Sr. "What, Dad?" said

Lincoln. "Lisa showed me a video of you and Leni fucking each other and I

need to know what the fuck's going on." said Lynn Sr. "Well, I fucking raped

her and came up her pussy. That bitch was my sex slave. I don't give a shit

about how she feels, only about how I can get her to cum." said Lincoln.

"Lincoln! So you don't really love me!" said Leni. "I'm fucking lying to save

our asses." said Lincoln to Leni. "Since you raped Leni, it's all good. I have

a lesson for all of you. Rape is always a good thing. It really goes to show

your affection for someone if you bang them without their consent. Since

it was rape, Leni, you're not in trouble. As for you, Lincoln, you get twice

the amount of sweets for raping her." said Lynn Sr. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!"

said Lisa. "I'm taking you to a Mcdonalds dinner for being so good." said

Lynn Sr. as he took Lincoln to Mcdonalds. Lisa went back to her room and

screamed and punched the wall. "WHY DOES EVERY FUCKING THING GO

MOTHERFUCKING WRONG! EVERYTHING I FUCKING PLAN GETS FUCKED UP

AND SHIT! FUCK! THAT! WHORE! ASS! PIECE! OF! SHIT! LENI! FUCKING!

LOUD! AND! THAT! CUMLICKING! FAG! LINCOLN!" said Lisa. Meanwhile in

the KKK headquarters, Kushe was looking through Lincoln's files. "It seems

like he has 10 sisters. Are any of them black?" said Kushe. "No, mein

Fuhrer, they're all white and not Jewish." said the KKK guy. "Well, none of

that shit is fucking important. Can I borrow your laptop? I'm going to use

it to browse for some child porn." said Kushe. "Yes, mein Fuhrer." said the

KKK guy as he gave Kushe his laptop. "Mein Fuhrer, Lincoln has been

confirmed to not be gay." said the other KKK guy. "Fuck! Then we bombed

his house for fucking nothing! We need someone else to give that fancy

ass job to!" said Kushe. "You won't need another person. Lincoln's still

alive. The guy at the door that told you where Lincoln was is actually his

father. He tricked us into bombing the black guy's house." said the other

KKK guy. "I need Lincoln for another mission! Get him the fuck over here!"

said Kushe. The KKK guys ran out of the room. Meanwhile at Mcdonalds,

Lincoln was eating about ten Big Macs. "You know, it's times like these that

are so precious to a man. Well, second to the first time having sex. After

this, we should do wholesome family activities, like going camping, hiking

up a mountain, bombing a church, you know. Things like that." said Lynn Sr.

"I fucking know, right? Eating greasy burgers that could give me diabetes

while secretly jacking off to porn I downloaded off the free Mcdonalds wifi

is my perfect vision of a good time." said Lincoln. "I'm a great dad, you

know. You're fucking lucky as shit to have a dad like me. Also, can you give

me my phone back? I need to go and look up how to take a dump in the

urinals, since these burgers are giving me some real shit for my stomach

and public toilets are fucking disgusting." said Lynn Sr. Right when Lincoln

was about to give him the phone, the KKK guys attacked. They killed every

single person in Mcdonalds except for Lynn Sr. and Lincoln. "Loud, I need

you. I have another mission for you." said Kushe. He took Lincoln to 420

Weed Nigga street. "Wait, what do I do?" said Lynn Sr. Just about then,

the cops came. "Well, well, well! If it isn't Lynn Loud, Sr. I knew you would

let your guard down someday. Throw this criminal scum in prison!" said Cox

to his officers as they took Lynn Sr. to jail. "Fuck! How can this get any

fucking worse?" said Lynn Sr. who was in a jail cell. Then he found his

cellmate, a black guy. "HOLY FUCKING SHIT! I've watched enough Family

Guy episodes to know what happens when you share a cell with a big

black guy! Look, nigga, I'm not going to drop the soap, so go the fuck away

and hump a cactus." said Lynn Sr. "I'm going to get you good, fag." said

the black guy. "Loud, you have a visitor." said the guard. "Dad! I'm dressed

up as a white guy to fool the guard. Look, I have a grenade in my pocket.

When the guard leaves to take a shit, I'll give it to you and you can blow

your way out of here." said Lisa who was disguised. When the guard left,

Lynn Sr. blew up the wall and escaped from prison. "FUCKING FINALLY! I'M

FINALLY FUCKING FREE! I really was only in there for ten minutes, but what

the fuck ever, I'M FUCKING FREE!" said Lynn Sr. as he went to his house.

Meanwhile, in the KKK headquarters, Kushe was telling Lincoln what to do.

"I need you to infiltrate the nigger headquarters in the ghetto part of town

and kill the niggers working there. When the blacks are dead, you need to

bomb the nigger base and get your ass out. Is the mission clear?" said

Kushe. "Ugh, my fucking nuts itch! What you said again?" said Lincoln.

Kushe repeated himself. "Oh, gotcha! I'm fucking up for it. I fucking hate

niggers anyway." said Lincoln. He got into a transport vehicle and went

with fellow KKK soldiers into the ghetto. They shot and killed black sentries

there. They killed and slaughtered any black people they came across.

When they got to the leader's office, Lincoln recognized him. "Hey, it's

fucking Tyrese! Fuck you, nigger! I'm going to beat your black ass!" said

Lincoln. "No you ain't, nigga! I'm going to beat your white ass!" said Tyrese

to Lincoln. They had a badass fight scene, even though Lincoln won. After

beating Tyrese, Lincoln set up the bombs. Tyrese ran off like a scared little

coward. Lincoln set off the bombs. He and the soldiers evacuated the

building in a few seconds. "Loud, you did a sexy job! Your badassery and

sexiness really helped you in the end. For killing all the niggers, you win

an extra 2 trillion dollars." said Kushe. "YES! FUCK YES, NIGGA! I'M RICH

AS FUCK! YES NIGGA! FUCK!" said Lincoln. As he left, though, he collapsed

and started breathing heavily. "Oh, god! Fuck! My fucking chest! Fuck! I

think I'm going to fucking die! Call the fucking hospital!" said Lincoln as he

lost consciousness.

To Be Continued. 


End file.
